Love Is Not Easy

1 Corinthians 16:14

“Do everything in love.” Those four words sit quietly in Scripture, simple enough to memorize yet difficult enough to challenge even the strongest marriages and the most faithful men. The world markets love as something effortless, emotional, and endlessly fulfilling. Hollywood portrays romance as a smooth road where soulmates fit perfectly and life naturally aligns. However, Scripture tells a different story. Real love, biblical love, Christ-shaped love, requires strength, sacrifice, humility, and perseverance. It demands far more than feelings. It demands character.

Anyone who has been married or in a committed relationship for any period of time knows that love can be beautiful, but it is not easy. There are days when affection flows naturally and connection feels simple. Then there are also seasons when love must be chosen deliberately, defended fiercely, and practiced intentionally. The depth of a relationship is not revealed when everything is going well; it is revealed when tension surfaces, when misunderstandings occur, and when emotions run high. Those are the moments that expose whether we are living by Hollywood’s definition of love or God’s.

1 Corinthians 16:14
“Do everything in love.”

1 Corinthians 16:14 does not command us to “feel everything in love.” It commands us to do everything in love. God is calling men to act in love even when emotions are strained, when pride rises up, or when fatigue makes patience difficult. That is where love becomes a discipline and not merely a sentiment.

So what does it actually mean to love well? Years ago I thought it was all about appreciation, listening, and understanding. These were not just relationship tips. They were reflections of biblical principles that still define strong love today.

Appreciation is more than saying thank you. It is recognizing the value of the person God gave you and communicating that value in a way they understand. Scripture calls husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. Christ did not love in theory. He loved in action. He loved in pursuit. He loved in sacrifice. To appreciate someone is to honor them with consistency, not just compliments. It is learning what makes them feel seen and choosing to invest in that.

Listening may be one of the most neglected expressions of love. Many men listen for the purpose of responding, defending, or correcting, but love listens in order to understand. Proverbs tells us that wise men seek understanding, and relationships thrive when understanding is pursued. Listening requires slowing your mind, paying attention to tone and body language, and allowing humility to override the need to be right. The goal is not to win an argument. The goal is to win unity.

Understanding is where humility becomes practical. It means acknowledging that both of you bring strengths, weaknesses, wounds, and blind spots into the relationship. It means accepting the truth that you have faults too and that your spouse’s frustration may be revealing something you need to address. Understanding is not agreeing with everything or pretending the other person is perfect. It is recognizing that love is about refinement, not convenience.

Love grows strongest in the moments that challenge your pride.

Storms will come. Disagreements will happen. Emotions will flare. But these are not threats to your marriage. They are opportunities for deeper connection. When two people choose to work through conflict with humility, grace, and a willingness to grow, their bond strengthens. What breaks most marriages is not the presence of storms but the refusal to walk through them together with love leading the way.

One of the biggest myths in relationships is that love should always feel easy. Scripture shows us the opposite. Christ loved us at our worst. He served those who betrayed Him, pursued those who doubted Him, and restored those who denied Him. His love was not convenient. It was costly. And He calls us to love each other with the same posture. Men were made to be strong not to just pick things up and put them down, but to strong enough to stand between evil and our wives. We need to be the first to make the sacrifice for our marriage.

Our wives do not need a perfect man, they need one willing to step up. She needs a man who is willing to grow, willing to listen, willing to apologize, willing to forgive, and willing to love even when his feelings tell him otherwise. She needs a man who chooses Christlike love in the quiet moments no one sees. She needs a man who will labor to build unity, not just demand to be understood.

Biblical love is not weakness. It is strength restrained for the good of another.

As men, we often underestimate the impact our love has on the environment of our home. When we lead in love, our homes become places where peace grows, respect deepens, and trust takes root. When we neglect love, distance grows silently even when we assume everything is fine.

Love requires intentionality. It requires courage to confront your own selfishness. It requires wisdom to know when to speak and when to remain quiet. It requires faith to believe that God can use your obedience to strengthen your marriage even when the results are not immediate.

The command in 1 Corinthians 16:14 is not a suggestion. It is a calling. God is calling you to build a home defined by love, shaped by humility, and strengthened by sacrificial leadership. You will not love perfectly. No man does. But you can love faithfully, and that faithfulness will become a testimony of God’s work in your life and in your family.

Love is not easy, but God has never asked men to choose the easy road. He calls us to choose the road that forms us into Christlike leaders. And love is the tool that shapes us more than anything else.

Choose to love with intention. Choose to love with humility. Choose to love with strength. When love leads, your home will never be the same.