Proverbs 10:9, Joshua 24:15

Most men dream about leading others, but few ever learn to lead the only man God will hold them directly accountable for…the one in the mirror.

You can’t lead your wife, your kids, your team, or your community if you’re still enslaved to fear, convenience, or the pressure to fit in. God doesn’t start His work in the spotlight, He starts in the private decisions you make when no one is watching.

Scripture Foundation

Proverbs 10:9 (NIV)
“Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.”

Joshua 24:15 (NIV)
“Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…”

Every man must make that choice daily.

The Message

When I was in the Air Force, I learned that to be able to lead others, I had to learn to lead myself. I had to learn what that old adage truly meant, “Lead by Example.”

Leadership begins long before anyone follows you. It begins when you choose what is right over what is easy.

Every day, you stand at a crossroads:

• Popular vs. righteous
• Comfort vs. conviction
• Acceptance vs. integrity

The world praises the man who blends in. Heaven backs the man who stands up. Most men give in to peer pressure because they want to be liked. They crave affirmation more than obedience. But here’s the truth:

Every time you choose the easy path, a small part of your strength dies.

Cowardice isn’t loud; it’s subtle. It’s the thousand small moments when you silence the Holy Spirit because you don’t want to disrupt the peace. God did not save you to be liked. He called you to be set apart, even when it costs you.

Men are called to be the guardians of their homes. When we choose not to take a stand against what we know is wrong, we aren’t just giving in, we are letting the enemy through the door and full access to our families. This is why the enemy is attacking the men so feverishly.

Real Strength Looks Like This

A self-leading man:

• Chooses integrity over image (Proverbs 11:3)
• Does the right thing even when it costs him (James 4:17)
• Refuses to let culture define him (Romans 12:2)
• Stands alone if necessary (Daniel 1:8)

The men God used like Moses, Joshua, David, and Paul didn’t ask,
“Will people approve of this?” They asked, “What honors God?”

Leadership always requires sacrifice.
Not every man will follow Christ boldly.
But every man is called to.

Here are three commitments every Christian man must make:

1. Decide Before You’re Tested

Don’t wait for temptation to decide who you are.
Establish your values now.

2. Practice Integrity in Private

The secret life shapes the public life.
Fix what no one sees.

3. Accept the Cost of Obedience

Doing what’s right will cost you popularity, convenience, and sometimes relationships, but obedience will never cost you God.

“A Christian man doesn’t drift into integrity. He chooses it.”

Closing Prayer

Father, give me the courage to lead myself before I try to lead anyone else. Strengthen my integrity. Guard my mind. Shape my decisions. Make me the kind of man who chooses righteousness over comfort. Help me honor You in the places no one else sees. Amen.